Wolfku Musing 39

There is no greater
beauty, nor love more profound
than this: mind-to-mind

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It does not happen often, but it does happen—this traveling across spaceless distance of a thought or a feeling or a view or a notion or a sigh from one being’s mind to another’s.

In my (limited to be sure) experience, it manifests in a couple of ways. One is where the other mind understands you so well that when you are groping for the words to express what you mean to say next (the intent already in place and glowing), he or she sees what you mean and says it for you.

Lisa did this for me on more than one occasion, especially early one fall evening in 1968.

She came from Tärendö, a small town (not much more than a village) in the very, very far-up north part of Sweden. Most people in that part of the country speak both Swedish and Finnish, the area having seesawed between Sweden and Finland over the centuries, so, I guess, just to play it safe they are bilingual.

I did not know it at the time I knew her, but she had also experienced the light that rushes in when Truth stands near and perhaps whispers. Many gates and portals within her flung open, and had not yet shut as she and I spoke one night in the early fall of 1968.

It was dark though still warm, Helsingborg, where we both lived then, being at the very southern part of Sweden.

I was sharing and explaining to her my just-then-born realization that God—as we know Him—did, in fact, not exist. I had just found this out by reading Bertrand Russell, and his dry, not a little cynical description of the various fates of the children of Jacob left little doubt: that idol in Mount Sinai was indeed a very jealous idol and demanded there be no idols beside him. And so, the Israelites took to arms to defeat their neighbors and their idols, leaving only the one they called Yahweh standing.

And to think, I realized as I read this, this just-a-few-thousand-years-old mountain idol then grew not only backwards in time to out-span eternity but in volume as well to encompass the entire universe, now the creator of all, the unheard hearer of all, the unseen seer of everything. Oh, man. I could not believe my eyes as I read this. Truly, it was an incredible relief to see my childhood (and not a little frightening) God take on proper proportions and powers. I no longer needed to fear him, that was for sure (for I was still, at this time, reeling off hurried night-time prayers now and then just in case He existed and was indeed listening in my direction).

So, I’m in the middle of explaining all this to Lisa when words fail me, and I fall silent as I grope around for the right way to cast my next thought—a thought which Lisa, and her wide-open gates, received just fine without me saying a word. And while I remained silent, she spoke my thought for me. Words as natural as rain.

I loved her very, very much then.

The other way mind-touches-mind is love. Sometimes spiritual but, also, sometimes physical—as in desire.

Marie could fill me with spiritual love as our eyes met and provided the portals for the feeling to simply flow out of one mind and into the other. You cannot doubt the feeling—it is so tangible, so purely real as to vanquish all doubt.

As for desire, Diana could and did open her gates, especially early one summer morning (around four, or so) when, as we walked past the enormous and surely ancient oak to our left, she turned to me and without saying a word almost crushed me with the large, warm, force that rushed out of her and into me. I fought for both balance and breath before I realized (knew) what that was all about. “Not now,” I remember saying.

Sex between us was out of the question, I knew that, and said as much with those two words. Perhaps, though, I really meant “Not yet.” The way things turned out speaks for that.

For sex, of course, has its own ways and means to wear down resistance, and went about wearing down mine over the next few weeks, but that is another story.