Shiny metal skin
These animals have round legs
and very bad breath
Let’s say you’re an alien. Perhaps you’re just visiting, or perhaps it’s your very bad luck and you’ve been incarcerated here for some not inconsiderable crime or crimes (or you wouldn’t find yourself here, among the rest of us crims, methinks) and time.
Either way, now you’re walking down your first road early one morning, your first earthly stroll. Everything is new, unfamiliar, threatening, and not a little scary to be honest. And, now, up ahead, this beast approaching:
You have never seen anything like it.
It shines. Its skin is metal-like if not actually metal and in such strange colors. And there’s glass. No, not the eyes, no, for those are further down, at the end of its broad, huge nose: shining glass eyes—lit from within by danger. No, the glass that hijacks your attention is covering both the front chest and side shoulders and the back of this strange, strange, menacing creature. Where there isn’t metal, there’s glass. Some on top of the head, even.
And feet. Four of them as per usual, but these feet are all round; and they seem to pivot. This beast is not walking or stalking or leaping, it is, strange to say, yes, rolling. Yes, that’s what it does.
And sticking out its back, where the bum should be (or perhaps is, what do I know) is a round pipe which spews the worst breath ever: dark, brown or gray or black but it really stinks.
For a few terrifying moments you think it’s coming for you, straight for you, and it will open its gigantic maw and devour you, but then it shifts its course a little and veers by you missing you by a foot or two and (yes, you’ll probably think I’m dreaming but I looked at the glass as it passed me by) and it seemed to be another beast inside this beast, wielding a round sort of instrument of some kind.
Really, this is the strangest thing ever.
No wonder people tell you to stay away from this place. Very few things make sense here.
Oh boy, here comes another one. Louder. Growling. Spewing. Rolling, veering, missing, hurling down the road.
Rolling metal beasts.